Comparing CSA spoils,
Practicing professional nostalgia:
The Joys of Wooffing!
The Backpacking of Yore!
From afar we appear to blend in but
Get close and you’ll see:
The tevas in our hemp bags
Our sister’s old blazer, altered
The bike helmet clinging for dear life by its straps
The messenger bag patched with blue and green:
STOP DRILLING
END OVERFISHING
RED ROCKS NATIONAL PARK GUIDE
WHERE ARE YOUR PRINCIPLED PATCHES?
Ours is the highest vantage point on the Hill
From our perch we peck
At your peccadilloes
Your flaws
Your wastes
Your burdens
Connoisseurs of the austere
Sartorialists of the second-hand
We can suck the marrow out of compromise
And demand the pristine extreme.
And we’re right.
We’re always right
And we’re right.
We’re always right
You know it’s true
The problem remains:
So do we.
Committee breaks and stilted talks resume:
Rocks to be climbed
Mountains to be hiked
Rivers to be paddled
Tents to be set
Cities to be abandoned
Fresh Air to be breathed
Why doesn’t everyone else understand our need to get away?
Don’t tell anyone about our special trail in West Virginia!
Too many people will spoil it!
Because mold grows where the amateurs tread.
Did you see the sale on Patagonia subzero jackets?
Did you hear it’s a Code Orange pollution day?
Did you read Van Jones’ latest?
Life’s simpler pleasures
Made complicated lifestyle choices,
Probably better than yours
Our hair kept wavy, untouched
By professional scissors
Simple pins and simple ties
What’s free is carbonless
What’s old is virtuous
The basic standards of hygiene and consumerism we must adhere to:
An inconvenient truth
I’ve had the same cell since junior year of college!
Mine is held together with duck-tape!
Well mine recharges on tofu.
We walk (nay, bike) the sinewy line
Between cheerful cynic and sardonic idealism
We lobby because we know it’s right;
No comped lunches or hearty laughs,
Just truth, justice and the Scandinavian way
If only we could all be Portland!
Onward Christian soldiers!
The Unitarian march begins!
The tragedy of the commons is the raison d'être,
And the comedy of the undoctrined
Fuels the endless, renewable fire,
(not factored into carbon footprints)
The problem remains:
So do we.
Committee breaks and stilted talks resume:
Rocks to be climbed
Mountains to be hiked
Rivers to be paddled
Tents to be set
Cities to be abandoned
Fresh Air to be breathed
Why doesn’t everyone else understand our need to get away?
Don’t tell anyone about our special trail in West Virginia!
Too many people will spoil it!
Because mold grows where the amateurs tread.
Did you see the sale on Patagonia subzero jackets?
Did you hear it’s a Code Orange pollution day?
Did you read Van Jones’ latest?
Life’s simpler pleasures
Made complicated lifestyle choices,
Probably better than yours
Our hair kept wavy, untouched
By professional scissors
Simple pins and simple ties
What’s free is carbonless
What’s old is virtuous
The basic standards of hygiene and consumerism we must adhere to:
An inconvenient truth
I’ve had the same cell since junior year of college!
Mine is held together with duck-tape!
Well mine recharges on tofu.
We walk (nay, bike) the sinewy line
Between cheerful cynic and sardonic idealism
We lobby because we know it’s right;
No comped lunches or hearty laughs,
Just truth, justice and the Scandinavian way
If only we could all be Portland!
Onward Christian soldiers!
The Unitarian march begins!
The tragedy of the commons is the raison d'être,
And the comedy of the undoctrined
Fuels the endless, renewable fire,
(not factored into carbon footprints)
-Anonymous
